What should I do with my life?

Some recent research showed that this is a common question for practising Christians. It’s good to ask the question, and here are some practical things you can do that will help you find an answer.

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I connected with Yinka Ewuola on LinkedIn last year and was really inspired by what she had been doing and what she was talking about. I then invited her on to my podcast, and subsequently to come and speak at the Stronger conference in January. She’s very clear about what her focus is in life and what she’s about.

Yinka is a coach, consultant and strategist focused on supporting executive and entrepreneurial women to own their magnificence, win in business (or work) and thrive in life. She is passionate about business as a force for good and believes in the importance of financial freedom for those seeking to make a powerful and lasting difference in this world.

When she spoke at Stronger conference we were not disappointed and I wanted to draw out some of the things Yinka said in her session to help us think about purpose and calling in our lives.

Some recent research called ‘Talking Jesus’ found that the most common question that practicing Christians were asking themselves was ‘what should I do with my life?’ This question is one of the things that we’re seeking to address through Stronger Network.

Some of you have threads of ideas of where you’re going but haven’t quite articulated what it means for you and what you should lean into. Our resources, events, sessions, articles are designed to help you reflect on your own journey and trajectory and work out what the next step should be in your own context.

Yinka’s session was really helpful because it reminded us that there are a few things we can do to move into the things God might be opening up for us to step into. Namely:

1.Have a clear focus

Yinka shared this:

‘ultimately, there are lots of different types of things that are trying to grab our focus, trying to get our affections, trying capture our thoughts’

I think back to my twenty’s and wonder how much of my time was actually spent on things that were taking me in the right direction. Sure, I made some significant decisions (e.g. ordained ministry, marriage, where I lived) but there was a lot of unfocussed energy going into things that really weren’t taking me closer towards the end goal, or bigger vision.

I read this in John Maxwell’s book, the 17 Indisputable Laws of teamwork. He said: 'Do you remember what it was like when you first got your drivers licence. Maybe before you received it you enjoyed sitting in the driver’s seat of a car and imagining what it would be like to drive. Later when you had your license and you were allowed to take the car out, just going for a drive was probably a thrill. It didn’t really matter where you went. But as you got older, just driving wasn’t enough. Having a destination became significant’.

When I was younger, I wasn’t clear enough about my destination, and so my posture was more meandering than running. That doesn’t mean being frantic or running around like a headless chicken (which is what I tend to do on the morning before school run trying to organise things), it means devoting your energy and time towards the things that matter most.

There are things you can do now to get clear about your focus and ‘calling, and when you’re clear, I would encourage you to ‘run’ or focus your energy in that direction. If you are clear about where God is taking you, what is your posture like today? Are you focussed and intentional, or would you say you are meandering.

2.Discover your purpose – Part A

I loved what Yinka said about this. She was spot on:

‘In Ephesians 2 it says that we are God's masterpiece. Our purpose in life, is couched in the fact that we are the pinnacle of what God created, and so what we're really focused on and created for; the reason we're here is connection and communion with Him.’

Honestly, this is the most freeing thing I could have heard in my twenty’s. The big purpose and reason for my life is that I grow in my relationship and love for God. There is an old catechism that says: ‘Our chief end (our highest goal in life) is to glorify God and enjoy him forever’.

It meant that my prayer times, those times reading the bible, engaging in worship at my church, took on a new dimension. I saw that they weren’t activities to fulfilled, but practices that enable us to become more the person we were created to be.

When you know the big purpose and ultimate destination of something, it means that you can engage with steps that help you get there with a new vigour.

3.Discover your purpose – Part B

Jesus said that the greatest commands are to ‘love God with all our heart and to love our neighbour as our self’ (Matt 22). How we do this will look different for each individual person. Part of the process of uncovering God’s calling in our lives is uncovering how we’re going to use our resources, relationships and time to love God more and love those around us and make the world a better place.

We each will have passions and ideas and experiences that we carry. God wants to use those to touch the world. There are different exercises that enable us to clarify what those things are and to help us identify our unique shape. Yinka shared an very interesting exercise with us in her session which really helped to bring clarity. She said this:

‘the exercise is where you write a eulogy of your life assuming that you have passed away, but you write it having lived the very best version of your life. And so you ask yourself questions like, well, who is reading this eulogy? Who is it? How do they feel about you? What memories have you created together? What difference did you make in their life? In the broader community? In what way? Did you make that difference? And what meaning Did you bring while you were here? The point is that you’re beginning with the end in mind, writing your eulogy now is such an incredible tool. Because if that's the end you want, then that gives you the opportunity while you still have it to make a change to make a difference to course correct.

It sounds a bit extreme doesn’t it, but the exercise higlights to the person engaging with it, the things that are most important. It reveals priorities and values and shows something of some hopes and aspirations.

Why not have a go. Write down some of things that come to mind and see what you come out with. I am pretty sure you will find it helpful. As Yinka says in her session, really the question is about what are we willing to give our lives for.

4.Think about your SHAPE

Another tool that I’ve found useful is to think about the way that God has uniquely shaped us. It was Rick Warren and Saddleback Church that came up with this useful tool, called ‘SHAPE’. It’s an acronym that helps you think about how God has wired you:

Spiritual gifts (the gifts that God has given us to use)
Heart (passion, things that raise our faith, that we find ourselves praying for)
Abilities (we have either aquired abilities and skills, or have them naturally, what are they?)
Personality (how have we been wired, myers-briggs, Enneagram, 16PF all give us a window into how we’ve been wired)
Experience (what are the experiences that have shaped us and changed us and that God has used)

Spend some time in your journal thinking about those areas and see how God might speak to you about them.  be inspired and encouraged.

I came across another section in a book by Dave Kraft called ‘Leaders who last’, and he said that in order to identify your purpose you to think about these things:

1.Record bible passages that God has applied to your life
2.Reflect on how God has used you in the past
3.Determine what your passionate about
4.List out your known gifts and strengths
5.Define what action words best describe what you like to do.
6.Write down what enjoy doing with free time
7.Re-read notes and distil common themes, and key words and summarise those key words in a short, energising statement about yourself.

One thing that he didn’t mention was about the importance of prayer and worship in the midst of this. When you gather in your church for prayer and worship at a service, why not bring some of these things to him. Allow God to speak to you about these things. Often in worship there is surrender, but also commission. We lay down our crowns. We hear God’s affirmation and commission over us. You can’t short cut that process. Lean in and see what God might do and where he might take you.

Do check out the whole of Yinka’s session. You can find it here.